I can’t believe January is half over! How in the world did that happen? I suppose I’ve just been caught up in everything that has been happening around me, and not spending enough time dealing with what is happening within me.
I didn’t mean to take so much time away from the blog, but it was necessary. Early in December, my beloved brother passed away, and I’m still aching even though I know he’s in Heaven and no longer in pain. I needed to not write about losing my only sibling; I needed to instead experience my feelings without documentation. I’m still not sure that makes sense.
My brother wanted me to live robustly, doing what I love without shackles placed on me by society, family, or myself. He wanted me to conquer my dreams and exceed my own expectations. He wanted that for everyone he loved, which is why it was so damn easy to fall in love with him.
I usually begin the new year by making a vision board. I throw away the old board, clip away at magazines, and glue my hopes and dreams for the new year on a brand new piece of poster board. I couldn’t bring myself to do that this year. I could not face once again throwing away my unanswered dreams and unfulfilled desires because I was swapping out calendars. I needed something much more permanent.
I found an old wooden board in my house and made a connection with it. I decided to turn my temporary vision boards into a living board, one that would hang and keep having things added as I accomplish goals and acquire new dreams. At first, I wanted to sand the wood and prime it, but quickly realized that I shouldn’t. It’s like life, rough and ragged, but with a definite shape and a story that only I can define. The rough patches make us human.
I’m taking my time with my life board. I would often finish up a vision board in a matter of hours. At my current pace, it might take a few weeks to cover the board. But the beauty of it is that it’s never finished. It lives as long as I live. It evolves as I evolve. I think that is pretty cool. A piece of living art.
Then again, aren’t we all pieces of living art? Isn’t the world a gigantic living board, a collage of ideas, hopes and dreams thrown together in a seemingly haphazard but perfectly designed way on a jagged planet that’s not sanded and not primed? Perhaps the realization of this is how we become our best selves.